Clarity!

Last night i found this word that i have been looking for, unconciously, for sometime now; Atleast since i began to feel this grave emptiness, and i mean literally, as if all i've got are the bones, remains of a once fleshy life. A coffin filled with an identityless remains of a past me, with a wispy existence of a me, today- breathing & clinically alive, yet unseeing , unfeeling & unable to see ahead. Trapped.
this word is like a local wild flower, u can find it anywhere, u probably pass it by everyday, with not so much as a glance. Then one day a foggy morning awakes & boundaries dont exist, neither in ur mind nor elsewhere, everything becomes a white mulch, that u spoon urself for ur very existence......the blandness is initially comforting, then sly and slithering the numbness creeps out of u to seat itself on ur throne. This pale, stone-eyed, nihilistic king then proceeds to destroy all memories & records of all previous incidents of stimuli & responses, pain & pleasure, excitement & may be even fear.
And as i laid in my grave numbness, a yellow voice tinged with an arousing green, gnawed & scratched at the insides of this dark coffin, as faint golden strands of memories, glowed to life in the channels of my mind.....u must imagine this light as a powerful, warm energy that sparked me out of my inaction....
Like a meteorite hurtling down to earth, my consciousness returned, I opened my eyes to my submerged reality, the one I poetized just recently, ‘Shallowed in the sea’…its called, & I raced to the top, broke the surface with a heaving cry that was as sharp as a blade that oozes blood with a light flick of the wrist that holds it.
I bobble now with a living contentment & savor the clarity of the air so unlike the blur of the water below & wait for the sun to rise in the queer dead of the night, to swim in the direction I have to take; towards my orange coloured horizon…….